Overview of student response - Section A

Please read over this analysis of the response from our former student MK. If you are able to fully understand what this person has done, then you should be able to replicate/improve.

The Mark

First of all, let's look at section A.

For this section, MK received a mark of 42. She was originally given 40, but then the marker clearly had second thoughts, and moved AO1 + AO2 up by a mark. 40 would equate to a Mid B, and 42 would be a high B.

A lot of you would probably be very happy to achieve this mark, so clearly there is a lot we can learn from the response.

MK has scored 15 for both AO1 and AO2, so take note of how often she uses terms, and how often she explains meaning. AO4 scores lower, so you should also take note of how few comparisons are made, and consider how you could have done this better.

Amount/Structure

You will probably notice a couple of things after only a brief read of the response.

Firstly, the response features only FIVE paragraphs on each text, not including the introductions. This is different to the 7-8 you have been told to attempt. Therefore, you can imagine how much higher the mark could have been if a wider range of points had been covered.

Secondly, only FOUR comparisons are made between the texts, and they ALL appear in the analysis of Text B. Whilst MK is awarded 12/20 for AO4, we can certainly assume that she would have scored higher if she had provided more connections. Note also that she points out similarities and differences, which is fine in this question.

Content

Note how the paragraphs are concise, but that the amount of analysis covered in each varies. Sometimes only one quote is used. Sometimes up to three are used. However, EVERY time, linguistic features are picked out of the quotes with terms applied to explain their effect.

Note how EVERY topic sentence makes a clear point about role, attitude, tone, relationship etc.

Note how most topic sentences perform more than one function, often including at least some basic text analysis ONCE the point has been CLEARLY MADE.

Note how both texts are introduced with a CLEAR OVERVIEW paragraph which shows their initial understanding of what is going on.